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Showing posts with the label hindi jokes

Khuda se Scooter manga

Khuda se Scooter manga Khuda se Scooter manga.. Car di; Apartment manga.. bangla diya; dost manga to tumhain diya.. Khuda ne is bar aisa zulm kyoun kia Zindagi Hai To Khwaab Hai Khwaab Hai To Manzilein Hai Manzilein Hai To Fasaley Hai Fasaley Hai To Rastey Hai Rastay Hai To Mushkilein Hai Mushkilein Hai To Hausla Hai Hausla Hai To Vishawas Hai Vishvas hai to Paisa hai Paisa hai to Shohrat hai Shohrat hai to Izzat Hai Izzat hai to Ladki hai Ladki hai to Tension hai Tension hai to Concern hai Concern hai to a Khayaal hai Khayaal hai to Khwaab hai Khawab hai to Growth hai Growth hai to Zindagi hai Zindagi hai to khwaab hai Matlab duniya Gol Gol hai Bas ghumnewala chahiye...... Log ishq karte hain, Bade shor ke saath. Humne bhi kiya, Bade zor ke saath. Magar ab karenge, Thoda gaur ke saath. Kyonki kal usko dekha, Kisi aur ke saath. Aansun se palke bhigo leta hoon Yaad teri aati hai to ro leta hoon Socha ki bhula doon tujhe magar, Har baar faisla badal deta hoon Aur bhi cheezain bahut see l...

Hindi And English NonVeg jokes

A girl went to a swimming pool in a BRA & PANTY. Coach : Mam, here two piece costume is not allowed. Girl : Kaun sa Utaroon? !!! One day a man goes to bank for withdrawing cash. Lady cashier asked: So so ke loge? Man replied: Khade khade bhi chalega. A Girl lodging a FIR report against the Rapist Girl : Inspector saab, char mein ek ne mere bre*ast pakde, ek ne meri ga*nd mari, ek ne cho*da, ek ne chooma. Inspector : Bus kar, FIR likha rahi hai.... Ya la*nd khada kar rahi hai. A lady lost 3 panties in her house. She asked her husband but he didn't know. Husband asked maid. Maid replied: Saab, aapko to maloom hai mai aandar  kuchh nahi pahanti. A Lady dashes a man while getting in the bus ... Man : Apne santre sambhaliye ma'm, they disturb me. Lady : (Angrily) Tumko kya, santre mere hai na. Man : Haan par juice to mera nikal raha hai. Saas aur bahu me hamesha anban kyo? Kyonki jis ladke ki underwear saas ne 25 saal sambhali Who bahu ne 2 minute m...

RAM KAUN HAI

Ques - RAM SITA HAI ... TO RAM KAUN HAI Ans - TAILOR ( darzi ) Ques - SITA RAM HAI TO SITA KAUN HAI Ans - Sita MEMORY hai (RAM: Random Access Memory) Q- Prasad ask's Kumble to bring a pepsi. Kumble brings a bottle of pepsi but goes directly to Tendulkar. why why :-) Ans - Tendulkar is an opener Q -The Madrasi said, I want to see the movie 'heart is umbrella'. Which movie did he really want to see ? Ans - Dil Chhata Hai! Q: Wohh kya hai jo Dil main hain, Mann main hai par Dhadkan main nahi Socho socho A : arey Aamir Khan !!!!!!! Q - What will! u call a person who is leaving India. Socho....... A : Hindustan Lever (Leaver). Q. Kalidas ka ek bhai joote banata tha us ka naam kya tha........ Answer : adidas Q. Luv and Kush are going to a village & in between comes a well. Luv falls into the well. Why? A : Because Luv is blind!!!!! Q : Now Kush also jumps inside. Why? OK lot's of head scratching do...

Sardar joins army

Ak 47 Sardar joins army, given AK 47. Hes puzzld. Asks major, Sir, yeh bandook ki nalli samne rakhun ya ulta? Major: kisi bhi taraf rakho, faida desh ka hi hoga. Dhire se thoko sanam mehangi ka zamana hai 6 inch ke item ko zindagi bher chalana hai Aurat ki kamar Ya khuda tune Aurat ke kamar itni pattli kyoun banai hey yeh tere berukhi hey ya tere bewafai hey Khuda: na mere berukhi hey, na meri bewafai hey uski kamar say kuch mitti lekar uske seene pe lagai hey. A Crowded Bus Man - Madam aapke santare dab rahe hai jara peche raho. Madam - Mere santare dab rahe apko kya. Man - Apko kuch nahin par mera to ras nikal raha hai!!!! Chandramukhi Tu chandramukhi main surajmukhi, tu mujhse dukhi main tujhse dukhi. Chatt se chhalang laga de, phir tu bhi sukhi, main bhi sukhi. 3 Facts of Life 1) Garib aur Boobs hamesha dabte hai. 2) Musibat aur Lu#d kabhi bhi khade ho jate hai. 3) Kismat aur Bra kabhi bhi khul sakti ...

Ek Kunwari Ladki Niche Khadi hai

AJIT: Robert, "Ek Kunwari Ladki Niche Khadi hai" ko English main kis tarah kahoge? Robert: Boss maloom nahin. AJIT: Are Bewakoof itna bhi nahin jante, Pauses for a while and replies "Miss Under Standing" (misunderstanding) AJIT: Robert, isko Great Wall of China le jaakar phansi mein laga do, great 'wall hanging' ban jayegi AJIT: Robert is ko microprocessor may daal do ! Bit by bit mar jaayga gaa saala! AJIT:Robert is ko liquid oxygen may daal do ! Liquid issay jeenay nahi day gaa, oxygen issay marnay nahi day gaa! AJIT:Robert, Dayna (Diana) ko thoda khatta khila do, yeh dayna se daynasour bhi ho jayegi, phir extinct bhi...

mere dono bachon ke liye koi naam bataiye

(Robert had twins and comes to the "Boss".....) Robert: Boss, mere dono bachon ke liye koi naam bataiye.. Ajeet : Ek ka naam rakho Peter.... Robert: boss or doosre ka ? Ajeet: Repeater. (Robert and Ajeet go for shikar.Robert spots a peacock...) Robert: Boss....more.. more... (Ajeet picks up the peacock, shoots it ) Ajeet : Nomore ! Robert: Boss , Sona kahan hai ? ( Where is the Gold ? )AJIT: Kahin par bhi so jao Robert !! (Scene - Robert gets a sidey to Ajit.)Robert: Boss, humne sidey ko pakad liyaAJIT:Ise maar ke pulees station ke saamne rakh do. Aur iske badan par ek sui chubha do.Robert: Par sui kyon, baass!AJIT:Bewakoof! Pulees yeh samjhegi ki sui-cide hua hai! Robert: Boss, mere teen bacche hue. Unko kya naam doon?AJIT:Ek ka naam rakhna Peter, doosre ka Maikal, aur teesre ka Cha Ling Chu.Robert: Par Cha Ling Chu kyoon?AJIT:Bewakoof, duniya ka har teesra bacchaa Chinese hota hai!

Shehar Ki Gali Mein Paan Ki Dukan

Shehar Ki Gali Mein Paan Ki Dukan, Devdas ne Dekhi Paro Ki Muskan, Devdas ne Khilaya Paro ko Paan,Khake Paan Paro Boli Shukriya BhaiJaan Khushiyo me aapke hum bhi muskurayenge, Gum me hum bhi aansu bahayenge, Hamare samne koi aapki burai kar ke to dekhe, Khuda ki kasam hum bhi "HA ME HA" milayege. "DAIRY MILK" ne "PERK" se kaha - Duniya me hum sabse SWEET hai, PERK replied - shayad tumhe pata nahi jo ye msg Pad raha hai, wo humse bhi Jyada SWEET hAI... ( o_o) (o_o ) ( o_o) Ullu ki tarh kya dekh rahe ho sms hi to bheja Hai.

Funny SMS

Draupadi ka vastraharan dushasan ko pada bhari Draupadi ka vastraharan dushasan ko pada bhari saari mein saari parag saari! Na tumnain kuch kaha , Joron ki bearish makes u wonder... Joron ki bearish makes u wonder.. is this what they call.......taste the thunder! Manoj named Kapil, Paaji was very brave Manoj named Kapil, Paaji was very brave palmolive da jawab nahi boy he had a close shave! E....kya bolti tu E....kya bolti tu ..... E... kya bolti three E ..kya bolti three! Jab tota hua dirty tote se boli myna Jab tota hua dirty tote se boli myna don't u worry ??surf excel hai na! Khake Chywanprash budhi ka gyaan payega Khake Chywanprash budhi ka gyaan payega Kabhi na Kabhi mera number ayega! Kamaataa nahin hun itnaa ke tujhe roz khilaaoon aur pilaaoon Aaati hai to aajaa, yaa kisi aur ko pataooon Dil Logi, Ke Jaan Logi Meri Jaan Set Hone Me Kitnaa Time Logi Gul Gaye, Gulshan Gaye, Gul Ke Patte Rah Gaye Saare Shaayar Mar Gaye, Tum Ullu Ke Patthe Rah Gaye Milnaa Hai To Mil Is...

Jab me use dekhu my dil start flying

Jab me use dekhu my dil start flying mujhse bat kare I keep trying jab door jaye I felt like crying are itna tension mat le I was lying……….. Nayi nayi shadi thi,Naya tha zamana. Dulha bechain tha, sunne ko gana. Dulhan ne shuru kiya… BHAIYA MERE RAKHI KE BANDHAN KO NIBHANA. Tum paas ho to tujhpe pyar aata hai, Tum door ho to tera intezaar satata hai. Kya kahen is dil ki haalat ko, Tujhe yaad kar karke hume bukhaar ho jaata hai. Ishq main yeh anjaam paaya hai Haath pair tute, muh se khun aaya hai Hospital pauhnche to nurson ne farmaya ‘Baharon phool barsao Kisi ka mehboob aaya hai’ Mujhe sirf teri hi pyaas lagti hai Har samay tere aane ki aas lagti hai Teri deewangi mein iss kadar deewane ho gaye Ki har ladki ki maa apni saas lagti hai