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Hindi And English NonVeg jokes

A girl went to a swimming pool in a BRA & PANTY.
Coach : Mam, here two piece costume is not allowed.
Girl : Kaun sa Utaroon? !!!

One day a man goes to bank for withdrawing cash.
Lady cashier asked: So so ke loge?
Man replied: Khade khade bhi chalega.

A Girl lodging a FIR report against the Rapist
Girl : Inspector saab,
char mein ek ne mere bre*ast pakde,
ek ne meri ga*nd mari,
ek ne cho*da,
ek ne chooma.
Inspector : Bus kar, FIR likha rahi hai....
Ya la*nd khada kar rahi hai.

A lady lost 3 panties in her house.
She asked her husband but he didn't know.
Husband asked maid.
Maid replied: Saab, aapko to maloom hai mai aandar kuchh nahi pahanti.

A Lady dashes a man while getting in the bus ...
Man : Apne santre sambhaliye ma'm, they disturb me.
Lady : (Angrily) Tumko kya, santre mere hai na.
Man : Haan par juice to mera nikal raha hai.

Saas aur bahu me hamesha anban kyo?
Kyonki jis ladke ki underwear saas ne 25 saal sambhali
Who bahu ne 2 minute me utari.

Teacher: Kya cheez muh mein nahin leni chahiye.
Student: Jalta hua bulb
Teacher: Why ?
Student: kal raat ko mummy papa se keh rdhi thi "Bulb
bujha do to muh mein loongi"

Sardar : How u got pregnant without me?
Wife : I was praying ur ID photo daily.
Sardar : Chuti*ya banati hai, photo to passport size ka hai, samaan kahan hai?

Sardar with big tummy go for walk in lungi.
One girl jokingly ask : Ye matka kitne ka?
He lift lungi & says : Nul ke saath 450 ka.

A sardar havin sex with his wife when his condom went in.
wife asked: Ab kya hoga?
Sardar: kuchh nahi, bachcha pagdi ke saath aaega.

Sardar : Maine ladka maanga tha ladki kaise ho gayi?
Sardarni : Tumhare bharose rahati to ye bhi nahi hoti.

A sardar gave 36 roses to his GF, who thrilled,
undresses lies down spreads her legs & says: "This is for the roses."
Sardar: "Why, cant you find a vase."

A crow shits on a sardar, sardarni hands over tissue to sardarji.
Sardar says: Ab kiski ga**nd ponchhu, kawwa to udd gaya.

Sardar : Lets try something different. Do it in ears.
Sardarni : Hohji, main behra ho gayi to?
Sardar : Aaj tak goongi hui kya?

(A man visits his doctor and.....)
Man : Doc, mera khada nahi hota hai.
Doctor : do u have girlfriend?
Man : No
Doctor : Do u visit pros?
Man : No
Doctor : Do u go for mujra?
Man : No
Doctor : To khada karke uspar kya coat taangega?

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