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Hindi And English NonVeg jokes

A girl went to a swimming pool in a BRA & PANTY.
Coach : Mam, here two piece costume is not allowed.
Girl : Kaun sa Utaroon? !!!

One day a man goes to bank for withdrawing cash.
Lady cashier asked: So so ke loge?
Man replied: Khade khade bhi chalega.

A Girl lodging a FIR report against the Rapist
Girl : Inspector saab,
char mein ek ne mere bre*ast pakde,
ek ne meri ga*nd mari,
ek ne cho*da,
ek ne chooma.
Inspector : Bus kar, FIR likha rahi hai....
Ya la*nd khada kar rahi hai.

A lady lost 3 panties in her house.
She asked her husband but he didn't know.
Husband asked maid.
Maid replied: Saab, aapko to maloom hai mai aandar kuchh nahi pahanti.

A Lady dashes a man while getting in the bus ...
Man : Apne santre sambhaliye ma'm, they disturb me.
Lady : (Angrily) Tumko kya, santre mere hai na.
Man : Haan par juice to mera nikal raha hai.

Saas aur bahu me hamesha anban kyo?
Kyonki jis ladke ki underwear saas ne 25 saal sambhali
Who bahu ne 2 minute me utari.

Teacher: Kya cheez muh mein nahin leni chahiye.
Student: Jalta hua bulb
Teacher: Why ?
Student: kal raat ko mummy papa se keh rdhi thi "Bulb
bujha do to muh mein loongi"

Sardar : How u got pregnant without me?
Wife : I was praying ur ID photo daily.
Sardar : Chuti*ya banati hai, photo to passport size ka hai, samaan kahan hai?

Sardar with big tummy go for walk in lungi.
One girl jokingly ask : Ye matka kitne ka?
He lift lungi & says : Nul ke saath 450 ka.

A sardar havin sex with his wife when his condom went in.
wife asked: Ab kya hoga?
Sardar: kuchh nahi, bachcha pagdi ke saath aaega.

Sardar : Maine ladka maanga tha ladki kaise ho gayi?
Sardarni : Tumhare bharose rahati to ye bhi nahi hoti.

A sardar gave 36 roses to his GF, who thrilled,
undresses lies down spreads her legs & says: "This is for the roses."
Sardar: "Why, cant you find a vase."

A crow shits on a sardar, sardarni hands over tissue to sardarji.
Sardar says: Ab kiski ga**nd ponchhu, kawwa to udd gaya.

Sardar : Lets try something different. Do it in ears.
Sardarni : Hohji, main behra ho gayi to?
Sardar : Aaj tak goongi hui kya?

(A man visits his doctor and.....)
Man : Doc, mera khada nahi hota hai.
Doctor : do u have girlfriend?
Man : No
Doctor : Do u visit pros?
Man : No
Doctor : Do u go for mujra?
Man : No
Doctor : To khada karke uspar kya coat taangega?

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English non-veg jokes

1)You came per night You get close to my body and sucked me all over. You had so much fun and satisfied then left me in  pain. You! Bitch mosquito! 2) MUM: didn't I tell you that if a guy touches  your A*SS, say DON'T.  And if he touches your B**BS say STOP! GIRL: But mum, he touched both so i said: DON'T STOP...!!! 3) Sex is math: Add 2 bodies, Subtract the clothes, Divide the legs and multiply!!! 4) LITTLE GIRL: Mommy, I just found out that our  neighbor's son has a  pe*nis  like a peanut! MUM: You mean it's small? LITTLE GIRL: No it's salty!!! 5) A couple recently married was happy with the  whole  thing. He was happy with the hole, and she was happy with the thing. 6) Latest Statistics: What men do after sex? 2% eat. 3% smoke cigarettes. 4% take shower. 5% go to sleep. 86% get up and go back home to their wives. 7) What is a KISS? It's an upper PREPARATION for a lower INVASION that  will  lead to furt...