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English non-veg jokes

1)You came per night
You get close to my body and sucked me all over.
You had so much fun and satisfied then left me in pain.
You! Bitch mosquito!

2) MUM: didn't I tell you that if a guy touches your A*SS,
say DON'T. And if
he touches your B**BS say STOP!
GIRL: But mum, he touched both so i said: DON'T
STOP...!!!

3) Sex is math:
Add 2 bodies,
Subtract the clothes,
Divide the legs and multiply!!!

4) LITTLE GIRL: Mommy, I just found out that our neighbor's son has a pe*nis like a peanut!
MUM: You mean it's small?
LITTLE GIRL: No it's salty!!!

5) A couple recently married was happy with the whole thing. He was
happy with the hole, and she was happy with the thing.

6) Latest Statistics: What men do after sex?
2% eat.
3% smoke cigarettes.
4% take shower.
5% go to sleep.
86% get up and go back home to their wives.

7) What is a KISS?
It's an upper PREPARATION for a lower INVASION that will lead to further PENETRATION with fast ACCELERATION that will build next GENERATION.

8) A man was carrying 3 babies in a train.
The lady sitting next to him asked: Are they your babies?
MAN: No, I work in a condom factory and these are customer COMPLAINTS.


9) Women top 5 lies:
5. I am a virgin.
4. It is so big.
3. I can't do that to my best friend.
2. I won't gain weight after marriage.
1. I am coming I am coming!!!

10) Why is your dick better than a credit card?
1. Once spent it it recharges itself.
2. It is accepted worldwide.
3. You can let your wife use it as much as she wants.

11) One day the teacher came to class with a rose placed in her cleavage.
She asked, "Can anyone tell me what roses drink? How about you,jonny?"
"Milk!"
answered Little Johnny.
"No, I'm sorry. That's the wrong answer. "Roses drink water,"explained the teacher.
"Wow!" Johnny exclaimed. "I didn't know the stem was that long!"

12) Women!s Geography
Between the ages of 15 - 20 a woman is like Africa.
She is half discovered, half wild.
Between the ages of 20 - 30 a woman is like America. Fully discovered and scientifically perfect.
Between the ages of 30 - 35, she is like India & Japan. Very hot, wise and beautiful Between the
ages of 35 - 40 a woman is like France.
She is half destroyed after the war but still desirable.
Between the ages of 40 - 50 she is like Germany.
She lost the war but not the hope.
Between the ages of 50 - 60 she is like Russia. Very wide, very quiet but nobody goes there.
Between the ages of 60 - 70 a woman is like England. With a glorious past but no future. After 70, they become Siberia. "Everyone knows where is it, but no one want to go there."


TO ESCAPE THE FIRE?
Scroll Down For The Answer ......
C'mon Guess What The Answer Is??
Come On Folks ..... Its Very Simple..
Still, You Are Thinking!! Can't Find The Answer?
The Answer Is ....

If A Big Monkey Like You Doesn't Know The Answer. How Do You
Expect A Small Baby Monkey To Know .....

Why do women rub their eyes when the get up?
Bcoz the dont have balls to scratch

Do u know the full form of WIFE?
Wonderfull Instrument For Fucking & Entertainment.




Q. How can you drop a raw egg onto a concrete floor without
cracking it?
scroll down for the answer
A. Concrete floors are very hard to crack!
Q.If it took eight men ten hours to build a wall, how long would it take four men to build it
A. No time at all it is already built
frm Imtiyaz
Q.Approximately how many birthdays does the average Japanese
woman have?
A.Just one. All the others are anniversaries
Q.If you had three apples and four oranges in one hand and four apples and
three oranges in the other hand, what would you have ?
A. Very large hands.
Q. How can you lift an elephant with one hand?
A. It is not a problem, since you will never find an elephant with one hand.
Q. How can a man go eight days without sleep?
A. He sleeps at night.
Q.Why it is impossible to send a telegram to Washington today ?
A :Because he is dead.
Q. If you throw a red stone into the blue sea what it will become ?
A :It becomes wet.
Q.What often falls but never gets hurt ?
A : Rain
Q.What is that no man ever saw which never was but always will be ?
A : TOMORROW
Q. What can you never eat for breakfast ?
A : Dinner.
Q. What gets wet with drying ?
A : A towel.
Q. What 3 letters change a girl into a woman ?
A : AGE.
Q. What happened when wheel was invented ?
A : It caused a revolution.
Q. Why is it easy to weigh a fish ?
A : Because it has its own scales.
Q. Why does a bike rest on its leg ?
A : Because it is too tyred.

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