Airtel boy asked Spice Girl: what is ur speciality?
Spice Girl: Night time incoming free!!
Can I get a picture of urs?...
the thing is that i have started a new hobby of collecting photographs of 'natural disasters'.
the thing is that i have started a new hobby of collecting photographs of 'natural disasters'.
Doctor to his lady patient:' U look so weak and exausted! Are u having ur meals three times a day as I advised?
Lady: Doctor, I thought you said three males a day!!
Dr. to patient getting no erection.
Married? No.
U masturb*ate ? No.
You visit prosts? No.
You have girl friends? No.
Toh phir khada karke kya Calender tangaenga?
Ek kavi shaadi ke baad biwi se bola: Aaj se tum hi meri kavita ho, kalpana ho, bhawana ho, Kalpna ho!
Patni: Mere liye bhi aaj se aap he dinesh ho, rohit ho, rakesh ho!
Four types of women having sex.
1.Asthmatic, ah..aahh..ah..ahh..
2.Obedient, yes..oh..yes..ah..yes.
3.Greedy, more..more..pls,
4.Religious: oh God..oh.. oh.. in..
Pleased by her performance, the boss gives his Secretary a beautiful SKIRT as her first month salary. The second month he raised the first month SALARY!!
LADKI- "Tum swimming sikhate waqt mere pvt. part mein ungli kyon dalte ho?".
Ladka:"Woh isliye ke agar hole se paani ander gaya to, tum DOOB jaogi" !.
Woman visiting a dentist, gets into her chair, lowers her panties, lifts her legs.
Dentist: I am not a gynac.
Woman: I know, I want you to pull out my husband's teeth.
A foreign tourist spots a sexy hijra while walking down Malabar Hills and asks:"R u a Prostitute?"
Hijra replies: "No, I am a substitute."
While paying the bill, the storekeeper objected on a Rs.500 note.and asked the girl as to where she keeps the notes.
The Girl replied " In my bra.."
"That is why Gandhiji's MOUTH IS OPEN.!!" exclaimed the shopkeeper.
Saas aur bahu mein hamesha anban kyo?
Kyonki, jis bete ki chaddi saas neh 25 saal sambhali, woh bahu neh doh minute mein utari!!
AFTER HAVING A QUICK FU*CK
BOY: 'If I had known that you were a VIRGIN, I would have taken my own time.
GIRL: 'If I had known that you had time, I would have taken off my panties!!'
Sex Karo Daily,
Agar Woh Mil Jaye Akeli.
Agar Na Mile Akeli
Toh Pakad Lo Uski Saheli,
Agar Na Mile Saheli
Toh Jindabaad Hatheli.
BUT DO SEX DAILY!!!!!
When I was young I used to pray for a bike, then I realized that God doesn't work that way,
so I stole a bike and prayed for forgiveness..
Doctor:I have some bad news and some very bad news.
Patient:Well, might as well give me the bad news first.
Doctor: The lab called with your test results.They said you have 24 hours to live.
Patient:24 HOURS! That's terrible!! WHAT could be WORSE?
What's the very bad news?
Doctor: I've been trying to reach you since yesterday
There are only two four letter words that are offensive to men - don't and stop, unless they are used together
The most enjoyable form of sex education is the Braille method Auctioneer suddenly announced,
"A gentleman in this room has lost a wallet containing $10,000.
If it is returned, he will pay a reward of $2,000."
After a moment's silence from the back of the room came the cry,
"Two thousand five hundred!".
The 3 fastest means of communication: Telephone, Television, Tell-a-woman.
Teacher: Why are you rubbing oil on your head while I am teaching?
Boy: Last night I heard my mum tell my dad, rub oil on the head if it's not going in.
Q: What did Stayfree tell to condom?
A: Boss if you fail, both of us will be out of business for next 9 months.
Q: What are the three biggest tragedies in a mans life?
A: Life sucks, job sucks and the wife doesn't
Santa give twelve roses to his wife, Jeeto,
who is thrilled with Santa's action She undresses,
lies down spreads her legs and says this is for the roses.
Santa: Why, can't you find a vase.
Q: What did the elephant say to the naked man?
A: How do you breathe through that thing?.
The waitress walks up to one of her tables and is shocked to see three Japanese men,
all sat there masturbating violently.
"What the hell do you think you're doing?" she screams.
One of the Japanese guys looks up and says,
"Well, it says on the menu, First come, First served!".
Q: Who is a gynaecolgist ?
A: He is the only fool on the earth who looks for problems in a place, where most people find pleasure.
Santa reads a poster outside a police station "wanted for rape and murder cases."
He goes in and says, "Sir I want to apply for the job on the poster !!!".
What would one say while removing bra? Desh mein nikala chand.
While removing panty? Khulja sim sim.
While having sex? Kya masti kya Dhum!
After sex? Kamjor kadi kaun?
Why men doesn't make shhh..sound while pissing like women?
Ans:Cos God had given them them six to eight inches long SILENCER!
1.A SAD STORY : A little boy was so jealous of his new born brother that he put poison on the nipple of his mom while she was asleep. Now comes the sad part - the next day their driver died.
2.Farmer ordered a Milking Machine. Tried it on on his peni*s & had a wonderful orgasm, but could not remove it. So he read the manual & faints. It said," AUTO RELEASE AFTER 2 GALLONS"
3. A recent survey asked 100 Sexually active men what they most enjoyed about a blow job.
99.9% said'" The 10 minutes silence."
4. What is a kiss ? Kiss is an enquiry in the first floor, about vacancy in the Ground Floor.
5. What would be the name of a Chinese Prostitute?
...............Sabne Lee.
6. Why do women love gold more than man?
Because Gold has 24. Carrots while man has only one Carrot.
7. Prostitute to man:"Hi, man, want to have sex?
Man to prostitute "Ok.Only if you do it like my wife does."
Prostitute:"I can do it in any way.
Man " but she does it for free "
8.A 20 year old boy gets married to a 65 year old lady.
The next day after marriage, the boy dies.
Reason: He drank expired milk.
9. Today, in style are small cars, small watches, short skirts, and small mobile phones. There will come a time, when the SMALL PE*nIS will be in style, and then YOU will be the man!!!!!!
10.What is the thing that goes in dry & comes out wet.
More you put it in, the stronger it gets.
Men and women enjoy it in Bed.????
Tea Bag
11.Sardar to sardarni:" Let's try something different,
let me do it in your ear."
Sardarni:"Hohji, aur mein behri ho gayi to?"
Sardar:"Aaj tak goongi hui kya?"
14. What's common to a Man on Tight rope at 500 mtr height & man
getting a blow job from a 85 year old lady?
Poor fellas - both must not look down!!!!!!
15..Sexual Thoughts for Today :
Its not the length, its not the size,
its how many times you can make it rise!
its not how well it fits but how often you can make it spit!!!!
16. A Sardar gives 36 roses to his girlfriend, who thrilled,
undresses, lies down, spreads her legs & says: "This is for the roses"
Sardar:"Why, Can't you find a vase?"
17. Why did Gandhiji dislike making love to virgins?
Unko khoon kharaba bilkul pasand nahin tha.
19. Teacher asks: Why do buffaloes seem depressed when milked?
Little Harry: Mam, if someone rubs your boobs for
two hours & doesnt fu*ck you, how would you feel????
20. What do Bungee Jumping & Prostitutes have in common?
With both pleasure lasts for 35 seconds and if the rubber breaks, you are fuc**ked.
21. What is the sex organ of an elephant and why?
His foot. Beacuse if he stamps on you, you are fuck**ed.
22. What do you call two homos having sex?
DANDIA
What do you call a group of homos having sex?
DISCO DANDIA
What do you call hundreds of homos having sex?
LATHI CHARGE
23. Wife to Doc: An ant entered my vagin*a. Please help and take it out.
Doctor removes her panty and starts making love to her.
Wife (angrily): What are you doing?
Doc: This is the only way. I will drown that bastard
24. Exited man comes home & tells wife "darling I got 4 good tyres for the price of one".
Wife: "you stupid man, we don't even have a car".
Man: "do I comment when you buy your bra?..
25 Nude lady goes to bar and asks for a peg.
Barman stares at her and serves.
Lady asks him "have you never seen nude woman?"
He says, "I have but I worry from where you will take money out!"
26 A lady lost 3 panties in her house.
She asks her husband but he didn't know.
Husband asked the maid.
Maid replied "Saab aapko toh maloom hai main kuch nahin pahenti."
27 Sardar and wife were waiting at signal, a tapori comes aside and says "wah paaji kya rakhel hai?"
sardar gets furious and says " Oye rahkel hogi teri meri tho biwi hai!.
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